Cincinnati mayor talks nonsense in front of Bengals-Kansas City bosses

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The Cincinnati Bengals are looking for a second straight trip to the Super Bowl this weekend, and a familiar foe stands in their way. For the past five years, the road to the Super Bowl has been through Kansas City Chiefs. Fortunately for the Bengals, they have experience beating the Chiefs. They even beat the Chiefs in last year’s AFC Championship game. In fact, quarterback Joe Burrow has never lost to the Chiefs — he’s 3-0 against Patrick Mahomes and co. — and doesn’t plan to start this weekend.

The city of Cincinnati is brimming with confidence, and that includes his the highest office. On Thursday, Cincinnati Mayor Aftab Pureval released this video urging Joe Burrow to take a paternity test to find out if he is actually Patrick Mahomes’ father.

Cringey, I know, but the thought was there. Going from “Who Dey” to “Who’s Your Daddy?” makes sense. It is just a development of the mantra. Still, it was nothing more than a harmless joke that shouldn’t have much consequence, right?

Uh oh.

Nobody wants to hear Jackson or Brittany Mahomes

Brittany Mahomes, the darling of Patrick and the bane of every Chiefs fan, returned from a year-long hibernation only to break her head right before the team’s biggest game of the season. This can only mean despair for the people of Kansas City. Whenever Brittany Mahomes makes headlines, bad things happen. She and her brother-in-law Jackson Mahomes both were prominent figures on social media during the Chiefs’ postseason run last season, and what happened, um? They lost! This year, with Brittany and Jackson in the background, Mahomes has reasserted himself as the best running back in the league — likely to win MVP adepartment — and, after falling from the dreaded No. 2 seed in the AFC in 2021, the team earned its conference’s No. 1 seed in 2022. Coincidence? I do not think so!

Be that as it may pouring champagne on all the cold fans after a big win or complaining to the judges never “favor” the Chiefsany sighting of Brittany Mahomes means bad news for the Chiefs, both in reputation and on the field.

Maybe this was Mayor Pureval’s plan all along, to blithely and grisly punch Patrick Mahomes just to get his wife to show up and destroy any hope the Chiefs had of winning. I know it’s called Pureval, but that plan is PURE-genius…see what I did? I’m so smart. I’m sure no one has ever made a joke like this in their life.

I don’t agree with all of Ms. Mahomes’ sentiments, though. Was it awkward? That. I mean, the mayor even apologized to the city of Cincinnati, chatter “Bengal nation, Lol. I hear you. My competitive juices and love for cincy [sic] got the best of me. My mistake. Stay hungry and humble. See you on Sunday. Who Dey baby!”

Was it weak after all? Not at all. It’s normal for people to recognize a dominance hierarchy when it presents itself, and the Bengals have presented the Chiefs with such a complex since Burrow took over as the team’s starting quarterback. It is not weak to turn to the trend. Instead, it would be weak to side with a team you had no trouble knocking off. So, on that side, Mayor Pureval has the main word.

But as far as football is concerned, I have to give the edge to Cincinnati as well. Like I said, the return of Brittany Mahomes can only mean one thing: Mis happiness for all of Kansas City. I wouldn’t be surprised anymore if the clock strikes zero at Arrowhead and the city of Cincinnati is heard in the stands.

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