One thing actually fascinating and I feel actually relatable to lots of people that you just write about is rising up “feeling like [you] needed to disguise being half Mexican,” as you didn’t really feel Latina sufficient to slot in in school, and concurrently felt such as you caught out whenever you had been together with your instant household, since you appeared totally different than they did. You’ve additionally spoken about how reconciling your emotions with that is “the subsequent chapter of your life.” What has that appeared like for you thus far, and what’s your relationship together with your heritage like now?
I really feel like prior to now, you realize, I simply hadn’t all the time been comfy speaking about my Latin heritage, and never as a result of I am embarrassed or ashamed. Actually, fairly the alternative. I am so proud to be Mexican, however I simply type of felt, like, a little bit of imposter syndrome. I do know one of many predominant causes [why] was my dad, the person who raised me. He is Dutch, blonde hair, blue eyes, and my mother has blonde hair, inexperienced eyes. My Latin heritage comes from my organic father’s facet, who was all the time in my life, however extra type of from a distance. That is not who raised me.
I did not develop up in a family talking Spanish, which I want I did. I want my daughter did. However I by no means needed my dad to really feel like he wasn’t sufficient, or he wasn’t, you realize, my actual dad, as a result of that is my dad, that is who raised me. So I type of hid that a part of my life. And, you realize, not being raised with, like I mentioned, the language, the tradition, I simply felt like I did not slot in. I felt like I could not inform those who I used to be Mexican as a result of my final title was Jancan, and my mother and father are white, so [people] weren’t going to grasp that.
However yeah, going again to the imposter syndrome, I really feel like that is simply one thing I’ve struggled with. I by no means need to be seen as simply making the most of the constructive elements of this neighborhood — you realize, like this chance earlier than me proper now — without having to cope with the challenges that this neighborhood faces in America. What we’re going by way of proper now could be so loopy.
I actually attempt to all the time keep out of politics, as a result of I am all the time afraid of claiming the incorrect factor. In case you take heed to my podcast, you realize I do say little, however I really feel just like the challenges and racism that the Latin neighborhood faces, particularly within the heightened more moderen instances, with the whole lot with ICE, it isn’t even a political subject at this level. It is a human subject. I’ve heard so many tales of individuals simply being ripped aside from their households, and it isn’t okay. Individuals being focused due to their pores and skin coloration, their language, the music they take heed to, their job…it is simply…it is all incorrect.
Just like the backlash of Unhealthy Bunny doing the Tremendous Bowl? Straight up racist. It is not okay. I mentioned this on my podcast final week — the Tremendous Bowl is world, and music is common. That would, like, be one of many largest Tremendous Bowl halftime exhibits ever. He is so iconic. I noticed him at SNL for the 50-year anniversary, and [he was] so good.
However I do really feel like simply lastly opening as much as the world about my household and placing this all within the guide, I really feel like I lastly have a little bit of permission to additional discover my cultural identification, and I actually do need to lean into that extra. I inform my daughter she’s Mexican and she or he’s Polynesian. We’re making an attempt to show her in regards to the tradition, which she does not utterly perceive but, as a result of she simply is aware of her Nani and her Opa. She’s assembly, although, her Hispanic cousins, we spend numerous time with them in Vegas.
And in the future, I feel she’s going to ask, like, “Wait, so whose facet of the household are they on?” as a result of she does not but notice there is a third facet of the household — your cousins, your uncles, your tíos…however we spent a while with my Hispanic household in Vegas this previous weekend, and she or he received to be there with them. So it is all the time good once we can get collectively and simply really feel like a household.
