The Daily Imagines a Conversation With Glenda Bailey’s Stiletto

Pull up a chair and enjoy a fictional conversation with the former Harper’s Bazaar editrix’s glitzy shoe. 

Hello there, gorgeous! We haven’t spoken since that wonderful Campari soda at the Four Seasons in Milan after the Versace show.
God, don’t you love those friend olives? I’m really going to miss them!

What does Glenda’s big news mean for you? 
Frankly, I need a break. I’ve been trying to cobble myself back together, but so many struggles and fractures over the years have really taken a toll. Do you even understand what kind of havoc the Hearst escalator can wreak on someone like me? But still, this development is bitter sweet.

How so?
Look, I’ve been in commission for decades now. I was overworked, sure, but I did see a lot of the world. London, Paris, Milan, and even the occasional trip to Garrison. With the exception of a few months in 2017, when my boss fractured her foot and started wearing something called “sneakers,” I’ve felt incredibly useful and in-demand for the entirety of my career.

What’s next for you?
Well, we still have one final fashion season. Glenda isn’t putting me back on the shelf ’til the end of February, so I’m confident that I’ll have my photo taken a few more times. In memoriam, etc. I do hope I have the opportunity to say goodbye to my best friend, Victoria Beckham’s platform.

And do you have any plans for your retirement?
Not really. I expect that I’ll be gathering dust, if you will. But I do plan to do some leisure reading at long last. In the past few years, I’ve really only had time for work-related books, like Demi Moore’s memoir. Can you believe that Ashton? I always thought he was such a gentleman! Anyway, if you have any recommendations, do send them my way. I’m easily bored.

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